Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
