I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
