Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My pussy is not your playground.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
