Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just invented taco cereal.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
