Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
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She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
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Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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