do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
