Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
