i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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