Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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