I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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