the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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