so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
