Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
