After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
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She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
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It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize