i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Dignity is for republicans.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
