He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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