It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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