Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
tell your sister to shave her snatch
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
