Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
im holly from the hills drunk
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
