only if we run a train.
done.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
