he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
These tits shall not be calmed
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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