Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
