What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
