i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
