My friends, they love my intelligence
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize