Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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