he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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