before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
