dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Who died my cat blue again?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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