have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
