I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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