This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
