Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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