So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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