Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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