my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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