Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
