TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
