At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
