You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
