Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
