I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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