He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
