I must be too annoying 4 u.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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