Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
