Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
COCAINE IS GR8
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
