I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
