so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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