he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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