Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I need water and some morals
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
