Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
