Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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