I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
It's Friday. Sex?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
