I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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