OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
