how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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