so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
