I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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