never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
