why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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