I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
