I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
