whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
