u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
