come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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