So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
